A Letter for Those Considering

..........an Adoption Plan for Their Child

No one wakes up and says, “I think I’ll carry a child for nine months and then find a different family to raise my child.” Pregnancies ending in adoption aren’t planned. They aren’t full of great joy and baby showers. Being pregnant and making an adoption plan for your child is hard.

But here you are, reading this letter. I admire your choice to even think about adoption for your child. There are a million reasons birth mothers consider adoption. I would like to tell you the story of my child’s birth mother, or Tummy Mommy, as we call her.

Hope was seventeen when she gave birth to Joy, the daughter she placed in adoption. She had become pregnant while visiting a friend at a concert in another state and had no desire to have a lasting relationship with her child’s birth father. Upon learning she was pregnant; Hope went to a pregnancy crisis center where she was counseled on her three options: parent the child, abort the child, or make an adoption plan for the child. The first two options were out of the question for Hope; she did not have the resources or support to parent a child in the way she would like to have her child grow up and she did not believe in abortion as a solution. Hope made the decision to work on finding a family that she felt could raise her little girl in the way she imagined for her.

Hope went through the process of being counseled by a CARA social worker who talked to her about the journey many birth mothers take. Her social worker let Hope know she had support for any decision she made about her child and was truthful in teaching Hope the laws regarding termination of parental rights after a child is born. Hope’s social worker helped her look through the albums of families that CARA suggested she consider and was with her when Hope chose to interview three different families to learn more about them. Hope’s social worker was also with her at the hospital after the baby was born, protecting her rights and providing counseling during a very emotional time.

Hope’s journey to becoming a birth mother to now being a mother who is parenting her second child was not an easy one. The sense of loss from not raising Joy will always be with her; yet, by arranging for a semi-open adoption, Hope can remain a part of Joy’s life and be part of that new family. Hope is proud of herself for making the decision she made to find a family for Joy and she is proud of herself for making the decision to raise Joli, her second daughter, who she had at age twenty-three. I am proud of Hope for so many reasons; not the least of which is her determination to follow through with her adoption plan, even when society wasn’t quite as supportive as it should have been. You know the people I am referring to: obstetrical nurses, ultra-sound technicians (remember the movie Juno?), teachers, friends, and sometimes family. Hope held strong to her belief that August 2002 was not the right time for her to be a hands-on parent for her child. She chose adoption; and we are all grateful for the connections and new family ties that resulted from that decision.
Good luck with your decision. I wish you strength and support.

Kerri,
Joy’s Adoptive Mom

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Agency News

Sep 16, 2009 - Families Needed:
We are now looking for Connecticut parents to adopt infants of all races, including African-American, through private domestic adoption. The waiting period has become much shorter over this past year, so domestic adoption has become a more viable option for many. As always, we are also seeking families to adopt CT state foster children through our grant-funded program "Project CT's Child".
May 1, 2009 - Check out the Heart Gallery
If you are considering adopting a child from the state foster care system, please visit the "Heart Gallery", a moving exhibit featuring portraits of waiting children. We can help you adopt these and other foster children. You can view these photos at: www.heartgalleryct.org
Apr 17, 2009 - Visit Us on Cable TV
If you live in Southeastern CT, please check out our public access TV show "Families in the Making". The schedule is listed on the section of this website titled: Visit Us on Cable.

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Child Adoption Resource Association :: Eastern CT: 2 Union Plaza; Suite 300; New London, CT 06320; 860-444-0553; director@adoptacarakid.org